The Exorcism

This happened years ago.
True story.
Warning: Not for the faint-hearted.


I'm a proclaimed buddhist,
pray to 观音, 大伯公, but I use talisman.
The line between
buddhism and taoism can be so thin.


I had a mysterious bout of high fever.
Visited numerous doctors,
yet those medicines only provided temporary relief.
They did a battery of tests on me,
yet surprisingly, nothing was abnormal.

As days went past, we got worried.
Perhaps it's time to.

Mum engaged a guy who could possess god at will (can't remember which god).
He was (supposed to be) everything we've hoped for:
highly-revered, formidable and proven.

I waited with anticipation and fear
for what he would say or do.

The door bell rang, he came in,
studied me for few secs,
clasped his hands together while stomping his feet on my floor.
With a quivered to his body, he started to behave differently,
walking with long strides, with an air of confidence,
and a different tone.
He took another glanced at me, closed his eyes.

All of a sudden, to our horror he repelled backwards,
as if an invisible hand pushed him backwards.
I was shocked, worried he might fall.
Catching his balance, yelling as he retreated few steps back.

I remembered my mum and godmother dumbfounded,
kept asking him what's happening.

"Sorry sorry. I am leaving.
I can't do anything to save him!"

When I heard this, I was chilled.
"What?! So serious?"

The ladies pleaded with him, to the extend of begging profusely.
After few secs of pondering. He relented & came in again.

There was a female spirit around me.
She saw me outside, took a fancy on me,
and followed me home.
My heart skipped few beats.
小倩?
王祖贤版 or 刘亦菲?

Next he questioned me:
Did I see anything at night?
Did I experience anything weird?
Did I wake up in the middle of the night?
Did I heard any noise?

I thought hard for these ans and replied NO for all.
I had to be certain, esp when these qns freaked me out big time.



I know what's on your mind.

You think:

1) Money scam again- Play acting, no hope, then money for ritual.

2) A female spirit is a common plot u see in movies
They'r what we like for a good scare-
Long hair, white clothes,
placed her next to your bedroom window and u'll pay.


What I know:

1) He did not state the price. Only a red packet. Amount up to your discretion.
He can come and say some prayers yet earn the same $ and recognition instead of acting out the retreating stunt. He almost fell AND he sweated.

2) Before this I went to another master.
(he gave me talisman but didn't recovered)
He also told me  she was there.
Female also?!
Just that none of them told me which comes in 3D.

Jokes aside, when two person sing the same tune, I'm worried.
Two revered and supposedly well-known-ard-the-neighbourhood masters singing.

P.S.- I don't care who was here. I just wanted a cure.



Back to my living room.


A chair was requested to place in the living room,
just in front of my 大伯公's altar.

We were told that
the longer she stayed,
the yang 气 of mine will be weakened.
Same script we've heard again.
Affection can be deadly.

I was told to removed my shirt and sat there.
I was worried abt what's coming.

The retreating act,
the wild hand gesture of the master
got me real worried that I at some point would have to perform some stunt,
either alone or with him.
Worst, humiliated in front of mum and godmother.
A naked humiliation indeed.


His next act I almost pee on my shorts.
He grabbed a thick bunch of joss stick,
the quantity larger than a clenched fist,
and lighted them up.

I saw the joss sticks caught fire.
The thick smoke billowing with each passing seconds,
the fire becoming wilder and started dancing on the joss sticks.

The vision got me terrified.
Chill up my spine.

The person to be cured on a chair naked while the master
prepares a bunch of burning joss stick.
Would it be the same scene on TV?

The exorcism has to be painful.
Alot of action, alot of running, alot of shouting.
Just like the famous movie "The Exorcism of SO and SO?"

He'll stabbed them all onto my body,
or perhaps do some drawings on my back using the joss sticks?
For the 1st time I regretted letting him in.
OR why not? maybe let her stay?

Before I could think of my next step,
he came towards me, serious-faced,
with the whole lot still flaming.
Die liao too late!

My heart stopped, literally.
He was beside me. I watched him extremely close.
The time seemed to stop. He seemed to take forever.
He circled the whole joss stick above my head, chanting.
Yes! oh YEAH! It only happens on TV.


He asked me to show him my bed.
He followed me to my bedroom.

"This is where u sleep?"
"Ya"

He circled the joss sticks above my bed, chanting.
Don't tell me WE shared the bed?

He completed his ritual, and we thanked him profusely.
Esp me, relieved it has ended.

The exorcism results?


I was diagnosed with dengue fever few days later.
The reason for the delayed diagnose-
Dengue can stay undetected until days later when it explode.
My. If I were poked by those joss sticks I'll kill those earlier doctors.


The aftermath thought:

Okie, for sure it was dengue.
Did the dengue caused the fever,
and coincidently shine the lights that she was around?
Call it superstitious perhaps,
but who knows?