thought-provoking: Regret

I was chatting with mum when we talked abt dad.
About the past.

He had a brain tumor which affected his speech and conscious.
We could not communicate because of his speech disability.
We wanted to know his thoughts, his wishes.

After the tumour was half-removed
and further shrunken by his chemotherapy treatment,
he appeared more conscious.
But still for some unknown reason- unwilling to speak.

We've always tried ways to open him up, but to no avail,
either because of his disability or his unwillingness,
which we never have the chance to find out.
The question of why he remained slient lingers.

Until when mum recalled & told me a visitor in his ward told her:
"Your husband is so polite.
When I helped to wipe off stains on his mouth with tissue,
he replied: "Aunty, thanks"

I was taken aback. Surprised.
It throws the disability out of the window.
He was able to think and speak.
Towards us, he chose to remain slient.
But why?

Such ironical.
The truth unveiled.
By a easy method- 3rd party.
If only we've delved more,
pressed further, he might have spoken out.
We would have known how he felt then.
Then we'll know why the reticence.

Regret.
Again with the "IF ONLY"
I hate this word.
And I hate question marks.